Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
