I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
