i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sorry about my life...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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