turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i think i just lost a toe
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
