Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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