She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
