He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
