all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
