i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
