I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
