Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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