Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
