I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
