3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
