haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
