Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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