i need an iv and a liver transplant
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
