I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
