i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
