I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
