i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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