His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
