i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Someone shit on the floor
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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