I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
