I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
