ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
