Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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