I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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