Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
