So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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