i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
