it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Drake has all the answers
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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