My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
