I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
