Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
