I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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