let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
