The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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