i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think my moral compass just broke
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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