Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
