I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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