hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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