she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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