When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I understand Curling. That high.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
