yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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