I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
