You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
