i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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