im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
