the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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