she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
