Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How external is "for external use only"?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
