Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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