White coat. Heels.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
