He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
