Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
