I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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