we're blogging at a bar
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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