Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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