So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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