I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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