he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
