I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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