It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
