Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
