Quick, to the slutcave!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize