So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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